Friday, January 21, 2011
Me as a 14 year old:
"I'm so never gonna be like those frumpy Mom's. Don't they know you can wear cute clothes for cheap?"
"I'm a frumpy Mom."
Big News: I have found the source/sources of much frumpiness!
I used to think that frumpy-looking Mom's just didn't care enough about their looks, or clothes or something. Now I know better.
As most of you can attest, I always had a flare for style. Not necessarily trendy styles, but my own variety of styles. I LOVE TO SHOP!!! It was almost an addiction for me to buy clothes at a bargain. Then came the credit card debt, which I then vowed I would never do again. Now I am proud to say I have only 1 credit card to be used in emergencies.
But now I don't work, I'm a stay at home Mom with a husband that goes to school and works so that we can pay the bills. ***By the way, he is awesome! I love him!*** Not really much left over for clothes when everything seems to go to rent and groceries. We like to eat.
But wait, didn't I once say that I could buy cute clothes cheap? Oh yes, that is true. I sure could do that...but there are a couple things in my way. I am sure these are the causes of many a frumpy lady:
1. Yes, I could've gone to Plato's Closet (it's like an exchange store) and buy lots of cute stylish clothes, but not now. Once upon a time I was such a cute little size Medium (in juniors) that I could wear a lot and look good. Now I'm a Large in ladies (or maternity, currently) and since that is the average size for women there's not a lot on the rack because everyone has already bought the cute stuff. But there is some stuff and I should at least try and go buy some, right? Maybe I could, but... (see reason number 2)
2. Feeling guilty buying myself things when we barely have money to get the bills paid. I think this is the biggest factor. Most young families start out poor students or something similar. Then come the beautiful babies; the bigger hips; the not as stylish clothes to fit the bigger hips/tummy; no time to do your hair 'cause you're just so tired you'd rather sleep than get up early...= a frump.
You may think I'm complaining. It's hard to tell the tone of voice while reading text. Let me clarify, I am NOT complaining. I LOVE MY LIFE!!! This is more like an event formula I've discovered. Maybe even an "If/then" situation. Even as things have gotten harder and harder, I have been blessed to be able to find all the blessings I've been given even through these rough patches. I know this time is preparing me to be a better person for when my children are bigger and will really be watching me.
Plus, the Lord is helping me to know what is really important. Going to the mall once a week? Or learning to be frugal, and spending more time being with my family? It's helping me to put importance on the kind of spiritual home I wanna have, instead of the splendor of my clothes.
I still like to look nice, what woman doesn't? This isn't an excuse for looking homeless, just not "as" cute all the time.
So, to the women I used to judge:
I'm sorry. I hastily put importance on your presentation of appearance, when I should've been admiring you for the beautiful spirits you kept close watch over; the long hours you put in your kitchen providing love and home cooked meals; the spirituality you taught that warmed your home and the hearts in it. You knew you were putting importance on the right things of life: Your family.
Now I'm trying to be just like you :)